TMNT - Shattered Mirrors
by Sampsonknight
Summary: It's been two years and Donnie is starting to have odd dreams, as he continues to struggle with his illness. To top it off, events start to unfold, that the dankness can't keep secret anymore, as Donnie and Aprils past starts to come to the light, is it a good thing or a sign that worse things are still to come? Continuation of Shattered Mind. (CC Au April 25 and turtles 22)
1. Chapter 1 (The Girl)

**Shattered Mirrors Ch1. (The Girl)**

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><p><strong>**********(Donnie POV)***********<strong>

A chill surrounded him within the darkness; he crept forward, knowing all too well what it meant, what he would experience once again.

Taking a breath, he shivered, he didn't want to continue the path he took, he didn't want to witness it, he didn't want this to keep happening.

He could feel the cold cement ground of the sewers underneath his feet, he could smell the grimy water that flowed by, among aromas he have learned to ignore.

Touching the wall, feeling the hard surface with his fingertips, it felt uninviting, shaking his head he removed his hand feeling awkward and lonely, wishing someone else was with him, to witness this to tell him this was just a dream, but was it really?

Looking forward to the speck of light that was in the distance, which was beckoning him to come towards it, calling to him to touch it, to feel it, to enter within it, only so he can watch the play that was waiting for him, before performing once again.

Deep down, he wondered, could he wait it out where he was? Would it go away if he did?

Behind him the darkness grew blacker, if that was even possible, denser and thick like it tried to choke the air out of him, his very life force.

Baring it no more, he went forward, he fell for the trap yet again, walking towards the light to watch it unfold like every night…

There he was in the middle of the sewers far from home, to far he remembered, or was it a memory? He should never have been there, he should have never wandered off, he should have listened to his father…

Donnie stood there, with sad eyes, watching her, the red hair girl, the one that cries, the one that is always running, the girl he wanted to help…

_(Her… always her…)_

Huddling in the corner, with her back facing towards him, she sobbed loudly, shivering uncontrollably, not by the cold, or the darkness that surrounded her, she shivers for she is alone, waiting for him…

So much he wanted to help her, so much Donnie wanted to go to her, yet he couldn't interact only observe the event as it unfolded in front of his eyes.

No matter how much he wanted to see her smile…

The young redhead child only around 9, didn't move a muscle, staying where she was crying her heart out, she was wearing a white shirt and pants, filthy from her falling and scrambling through the sewers, she was running from them, she was always running…

Watching in vain, the urge within him build up, he wanted to tell her it will be ok, she was not alone…

Yet he could not, biting his lower lip, he could feel the tears falling from his eyes trailing down his cheek, he didn't want to watch anymore, he didn't want his heart broken by her sorrows, for this wasn't the worse part that was to come.

Sighing, closing his eyes, he knew he just had to wait, sitting on the ground, he did so, not pleased with this, wishing he would wake up from this nightmare.

Suddenly, out of the shadows, a young turtle emerged curious and cautious, as he approached the crying girl, his purple bandana was unmistakable, it was him, a younger version, that was around six.

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><p><strong>*******(Younger Donnie POV)*****<strong>

As the younger turtle approached her, he felt sorry for this poor girl he has never seen before, wondering why she would even be there, where did she come from?

Every step he took, fear swelled within, considering she was human, and humans can't be trusted… he has been warned many times, humans can be dangerous and would harm him if they ever caught sight of him…

Yet, how could something that could harm him, be so sad, so vulnerable, a kid just like him?

She didn't seem she would hurt him; she wasn't as scary as his father made humans out to be.

Taking his chance, mustering his courage, which wasn't much for he wasn't Leo or close to Raph, he wanted to see if she was ok, wouldn't it be wrong of him to ignore her?

Reaching out gently touching her shoulder, to his dismay, only to have her scream, shuddering more, pressing her body against the wall, making herself smaller, he retreated his hand quickly jumping to her shrieks as it ran shivers down his spine.

Donatello, held his hand, looking at her, did she think, he was a monster that would hurt her? If so she never looked at him, so how could she know if he was or not?

Taking a breath, he desperately tried to steady his voice, not showing his own fear, "Are you ok?"

The girl only answered him with silence, whimpering to herself, licking his lips, he attempted again, "My… my n..name is Donatello… what's yours?"

Still, she sobbed, not looking at him, not showing any acknowledgment he was even there, making him wonder if he should even stay longer, there might be more humans around, her mom or dad could be looking for her.

Either way, he needed to get home, maybe he should tell his father, though he would get into trouble for wandering around the sewers on his own, he had to talk to him, he might know how to help her.

Turning away, Donatello started to take his leave, only to be stopped by a cold hand grabbing his.

Frozen in place, he shivered, noticing how cold it felt, like a corpse, well, that's what he was told a dead person felt like.

Heart pounding in terror, he didn't want to turn around, what if she was the monster?

He has never seen her face only her backside, she might be a zombie or a vampire that Mikey is always going on about, not that he believed such things were real… well he hope they weren't.

Gulping, he dared, slowly he turned around, finding she was no such thing, she was no monster, her green eyes made contact with his, they were full of terror and uncertainty, not towards him, but something else.

They begged him for help, begged him not to judge her, he shook on the hidden message behind them, fearing to find out more, but more than anything, he was terrified of what he might have done… allowing a human to see him.

"Please don't leave me alone…," the young girl whimpered in a low, needy distant voice, holding onto his hand tightly, begging him to stay, her eyes tamed him, making him to surrender to them, making him to leave his fears behind.

Nodding, he came to her, sitting beside her, as she continued to hold his hand shaking like a leaf, crying into his shoulders, all the while he stroked her hair to comfort her.

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><p><strong>***********(Donnie POV)************<strong>

Sighing watching the younger version of himself consoling the girl, talking to her, Donnie couldn't take it, as he rose to his feet, walking away, he knew what was to happen next, he knew he would really never know who she really was, only that they were after her.

Wandering down the sewers, he could still hear her sobs, followed by screams, from both her and his younger self.

They arrived, the man and the…. alligator that was as big as a house, compare to him, back then and even the height he was now.

The alligator that was a mutant just like him, one he never met until that day, a mutant that broke his younger version's arm.

The alligator that he feared more than anything, that threatened him to never to tell anyone what he saw, or even daring to mention her, as well if he ever dared to go near her again, the alligator made a promise to him, that he will not resist in killing him next time around.

"August…," Donnie whispered as the dream started to fade away.

August, the name the girl claimed to go by… yet the man and Alligator kept calling her April instead…

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><p>Jerking his eyes wide open, Donnie laid there in his cold, empty bed, only wishing it had a warm body, her body to comfort him from the dream that never goes away.<p>

Whimpering within the darkness of his room, no one responded to his pleas.

Slowly he rose getting out of his bed, as he took his time to reach his door, all to just stand there staring at it, with his hand hovered over the handle shaking.

_(I can do it… maybe I shouldn't?...)_

His anxiety was getting to him again, closing his eyes, he counted to ten backwards, as he hit one he turned the knob revealing an eerie silent lair, no surprise though since it was late in the night and everyone has gone to bed.

Sluggishly and as quiet as he could, he made his way to the stairs, heading down them towards the kitchen.

Throat dry and harsh, crying for water, he needed a drink, as the dream played in his head, taunting him like it always does.

Stopping before the kitchen, he stared at it, wondering if he should ask first, shaking his head, he knew he was allowed, yet he hated this uncertainty within him, why does he keep questioning himself?

He knew why, though he could function, he was still sick, he acknowledge that, and it was hard for him at times, even the simple things like this…

_(I can do this… I don't need help, I will prove them I can…)_

Taking a breath he preceded into the kitchen turning on the light, though he could see in the dark well, it brought him comfort, leaning against the wall, he stared at the cupboards, which one had the cups again?

Biting his lip, he forgot yet again, wondering if he should go through them all to find what he seeks…

Sighing, he wanted to, but he couldn't, shuffling his feet, he became frustrated, then suddenly a gentle hand touched his shoulder, scaring him to death as he jumped for dear life.

"Donnie, calm down, it's me Leo… Sorry I didn't mean to startle you like that. I heard some noises and came to investigate who was up so late at night," Leo tried to calm Donnie's frantic nerves with his kind eyes, rubbing his shoulder.

Breathing through his nose, he calmed down, gulping hard, forgetting his previous problem and frustrations, "Leo… I didn't hear you…"

"I really need to learn to be more noisier next time, I still scare April too," Leo chuckled lightly giving Donnie a sweet smile that made Donnie feel better.

"Yeah… Umm Leo…," Donnie looked away from Leo, ashamed at the thought to ask Leo for help, but before he could even attempt, Leo went to the middle cupboard grabbing two glasses, placing them on the counter, then entering the fridge pulling out a carton of milk pouring some in both glasses.

"Here Donnie, I know it's not warm, but it might help you sleep," Leo suggested drinking his glass with a slight moan.

Fiddling with his glass, Donnie wanted water, but milk would do too, as he too took a drink, then passed his empty glass to Leo, who put it in the sink, rinsing it.

_(Leo… thank you for not making me feel incompetent… I'm lucky to have a big brother like you…)_

"Thanks Leo… I should get back to sleep…," Donnie started to leave only to be stopped by Leo's hand.

"Donnie, are you ok… Are you still having nightmares?" Leo warmly smiled yet his eyes wear wearisome, even Donnie could see pass his cool gray eyes, that could hide emotions from others.

Shaking his head, assuring his big brother, he was fine, Donnie wore the best smile he could muster, hoping Leo didn't read pass it.

He couldn't tell him of his dreams, especially the one of the red hair girl with two names, he feared his brother would worry of him, assuming Donnie was not getting well after all, falling deeper than before.

He did not even dare to tell April, though he did promise to tell her everything that was going on with him, but that dream, he couldn't get himself to do so.

For in truth, he started to question it, was it really a dream or was it suppressed memories trying to come to the surface?

Then a greater fear hindered him, consuming him, throwing him in a spiral of dread and silence, could it be some form of proof he was falling more than before, after two years of being as stable as he was, was he losing his mind completely, did his last mirror finally shatter or going to?

Sure, he wasn't fully recovered after this long and he had issues, but he was better than before, he knew that much, then yet again was he really?

So much he wanted to be his old self, so much he wanted to do the things he should be able to, hell he couldn't even figure out how to test DNA on the two baby turtles that were now two years old, Willow and Luke.

No one knew if they were his or Raph's, no matter how much he tried to remember how he use to do things, he couldn't… most of his memories were locked away what April told him, though he did start to wonder if there were gone for good, never to return again.

(Please Leo don't ask me any more questions and let me go to bed… I don't want to lie anymore… It hurts too much to do that to you of all people…)

Watching Leo, Donnie waited, with a sigh, he nodded, "Ok Donnie. Just don't forget we can talk any time you want if you need an ear to listen, night little brother."

With that Donnie left for his room, not looking back, as he reached the top he looked down towards the other two doors.

At the far end was Mikey's room, which at the moment the children were with him, not knowing who the father was, the brothers took turns watching the kids, they seemed to taken a liking towards Mikey more than anyone else, other than their mother of course.

Then slowly, moving his eyes to the door before it, his heart became heavy with sadness; April was in there cuddling with Raph…

Sighing, he went to his door, he really wished she would have stayed with him that night, but he and Raph came to an agreement, for the sake of the kids and all fairness to April, they didn't fight over her, yet in some odd way shared her.

Each was allowed to show her their affections towards her, as the other by agreement, will not get or show he is jealous, in return, she showed them each her affections towards them individually; she was as fair she could be, some nights she will stay with him as for others she would stay with Raph.

As odd it may be, neither brother felt neglected this way or did either one ever got jealous of the other brother, sure times Donnie felt sad not having her, but he knew Raph felt the same when Donnie was with her, so it was balanced either way.

The reason for this, was that April couldn't decide which one she wanted to be with, or thought it was fair for her to make such a decision, considering she did promise she would make her decision, when Donnie was in full health.

Deep down, Donnie wondered if that would ever happen, would he ever become the turtle he used to be?

The past two years he approved a bit, but not much at the same time, like he was at a stalemate on the subject, in the depth of his soul, he felt like something was holding him back, yet in the end he couldn't figure it out what it could be.

Sighing again, he entered his dark room, making his way to his bed, lying down, closing his eyes, hoping the dream did not come back; wishing day would come sooner so he didn't feel so lonely.


	2. Chapter 2 (Just Another Day)

**Shattered Mirrors Ch2. (Just Another Day)**

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><p><strong>Raph POV<strong>

As his eyes opened, Raph shifted as her aroma filled his nostrils, with a devilish smile curved onto his lips, he slyly leaned his beak towards the crook of her neck, giving her a small lick, watching her like a hawk stalking it's prey.

She moaned towards his actions, mumbling under her breath still sleeping soundly, slowly moving his hand down towards her tail, lightly he squeezed it, well that's what he thought he did.

Suddenly April squealed in shock, literally jumping in response, then crashing to the hard cement floor, as she fell off the bed before he could even grab her in time, staring at the edge of the bed, Raph's face went white, that wasn't what he was aiming for…

Now the question was, should he go check on her and suffer her wrath that he truly feared at the moment, or act innocent and pretend to be sleeping.

Taking the easy road, he shut his eyes quickly, she wouldn't notice he was really awake, only thinking he was sleep touching, thinking on that notion, it did sound pretty pathetic even in his head.

A horrifying growl came towards him, unable to help it, he couldn't stop himself from shuddering by it.

(Shit, did she notice… Not that I did it on purpose… Wait, I'm the tough one here, why am I acting like some pussy?)

Opening his eyes meeting the malice filled green eyes that glared at him furiously, he shuddered yet again.

(Damn… she is scary… no way anyone is brave enough… or stupid, to act all tough towards the likes of her, when she is this pissed off…)

Thinking as quickly as he could, Raph wondered if he could figure a solution to this, he could kiss her, which normally smooth things over, or…

Taking the first option before considering if there were others, Raph planted his lips against hers, with a sigh she looked at him.

"Nice try, why did you pinch my tail?" April pulled away crossing her arms, not very amused with him.

Chuckling still feeling the full effect of the woman stare, he rubbed his head, "Well, I was trying to massage it… I must have put more force then I attended to…"

April looked at him over, then shook her head, "I believe you, but Raph, please be gentle next time, that really did hurt."

Placing his arm around her brushing his cheek against hers, letting out a small chirp as his apology, she blushed kissing him on the cheek.

Normally he wouldn't do such things as chirping, but he has seen Donnie do it and it really did butter her up, though there was no way in hell he was going to do it in front of his family, he would prefer the woman look, over that humiliation.

Well, not like his family could say a word, for each one of them have been a bit more open towards their turtle side showing it more, but only in the lair though, outside they were ninja's with a reputation to uphold.

Pulling her in, Raph licked her neck as she moaned and gasp, trying to pry him off her, not for she didn't like it, but it was time to get up, nether of them had the luxury to sleep in per say.

Knowing the daily schedule all to well, that was a pain to him, Raph sighed, giving a love bite before getting out of bed as his way in teasing her, only to receive a slap on the rump in response, which did make his tail tingle with delight.

Looking over his shoulders, he smiled, almost debating if he should say hell with it and jump her, pinning her to the bed, she might complain at first, but in truth she would like it all the same.

(Damn, she is gorgeous … But I made a promise, I wonder if I should grab her in the shower later? Mmm she does smell so damn delicious when her body is all wet and silky. Not to mention how hot she looks, when the water drips off that perfect figure… huh where did she go?)

Realizing April walk out of the room while he was in his fantasy world, Raph crossed his arms quite disappointed; he should have jumped her when he had the chance.

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><p><strong>April POV<strong>

Smiling to herself, April wondered how long it would take Raph to notice that she slipped out of the room?

Sure, she could tell the red clad turtle was getting pretty aroused, which was a turn on, yet she couldn't let him hold her hostage for the remainder of the day, though the thought was really amusing to the point she did consider at one moment to let him do it.

Shaking her head, she had things to do, for starters was to see how Uncle Leo was doing, April smirked more when she reached the bottom of the stairs hearing Leo voice coming from the kitchen area of the lair.

"No Luke, that's not where your baby food goes! Willow stop patting your bowl, you're going to knock it over. AH jeez Luke," Leo yelped as the thud came afterwards, followed by a wailing laughter from Mikey.

(Well, Leo is doing well as usual; I swear those two kids love torturing him…)

Leo growled under his breath, "Mikey, you're not helping…"

It was apparent that Leo was stressed already, he does love the children to bits, but they had the habit making Leo frantic to the point they could even make him cry, though April never would want to see that, it would be just to hard for her not to laugh at him.

Reaching the dining room, there standing, holding Luke, was Leo covered head to toe in baby food; April wasn't sure who was feeding who at the moment.

As for Mikey, he was sitting at the table, pounding his fist into it, laughing so hard that any given moment the young turtle was going to fall off his chair, all the while Willow clapped her hands, happy as could be.

Sighing to himself, Leo finally looked over towards April as a look of relief came over him, "Oh good your mommy is up," Leo tried to pass off Luke to April instantly.

With a smile April gladly took Luke, cuddling him in her arms, just to have Willow pout, then cry, for she too wanted her mother to hold her.

"Well have fun," Leo took this as his cue to run while he still could, he had his share of the kids for the morning and now he had to go wash up.

Watching Leo leaving in a rush, both Mikey and April held back their laughs, noticing Leo's shell was painted with food hand prints, how did that happen, who knows.

Shaking her head with a smile, April took a dish towel wiping Luke's face, "Now let's see if we get some food in your tummy little one. Mikey can you help?"

Getting out of his chair, Mikey went to Willow taking her out of her high chair, whisking her into the air, "Willow do you want Uncle Mikey to feed you?"

Willow squealed clenching her hands indicating she wanted Mikey to hug her, smiling Mikey love taking care of the kids, holding Willow, he made bubbling noises near her neck making her squeal louder in pure glee.

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><p><strong>Donnie POV<strong>

Mouth dry, the nightmare once again came to him before daybreak, Donnie laid there staring at the ceiling, wondering if he should even bother getting up, he felt depressed, scared, this was starting to hinder his already poor state mind.

Sighing, he rolled over holding his pillow between his legs, clenching it tightly, then suddenly something hit him in the shell, startling him.

"Get up Donnie," Raph voice came from the side of the bed, slowly Donnie turned around to meet face to face with his older brother that had his arms crossed with a frustrated look on his face.

It was obvious even to Donnie, Raph probably preferred to be doing other things, or be with April than to deal with him, a part of him wanted to tell Raph to leave and not bother.

Sighing Raph slumped down onto Donnie's bed shaking his head.

(Was I showing my expressions again? I am not really good at hiding this…)

"Ok, I understand we both don't like doing this… But we promise April and you still need some supervision… I know this blows, but Donnie trust me when I say this, I think you are healthy enough to do things on your own… but we both know what happen the last grace period we gave you…" Raph trailed off, he really didn't wanted to put the salt in the open wound, but last time they let Donnie to do what he wish without a schedule, he had some kind of a breakdown in which he almost got himself killed.

(Yeah… It's pathetic that I still need so much help still…)

"Raph… Sorry," Donnie sat up leaning his shell against the wall holding his legs.

Biting his lip, Raph jump off the bed, "Well don't be, come on I need your help either way."

Tilting his head Donnie wonder what he meant by that, help with what?

Heading towards the door, Raph looked over his shoulder with a devilish smile, "Well, come on, we need to replace them now or Leo will have both our shells!"

"Fix what?" Donnie tilted his head trying to read Raph.

Shrugging sighing under his breath, Raph rubbed his head, "The camera's you set up years ago in the sewers that we use to keep an eye around the outside of the lair for our safety. Some damn reason, last night a bunch of the outer hunk of junks, just stop working all together, not sure why, so it's our job to replace them."

"We? Are you sure… I'm… I'm not…," Donnie started feeling doubtful of his capability to help Raph.

Raph roared smiling more, "You're worried about you being able to do this, you do remember I know jack shit about this kind of stuff right?"

Raising an eyebrow Donnie didn't understand why would they be doing it then, "Ok… why us?"

"Simple no one else wanted to do it, besides how I see it… If I make you do all the work and if something does go wrong and you get shocked or worse, at least it's not me in the end."

(That's why he wants me to go with him to be… to be his dummy?)

"Thanks Raph… Love you too," Donnie sighed, getting out of bed, could this day get any worse?


End file.
